Dinosaur Jokes: 90+ Funny Dino Jokes for Kids (and the Grown-Ups Who Groan)

Somebody small has asked you for a joke, and "something about dinosaurs" is the only brief you've been given. Here are more than ninety dinosaur jokes, sorted by who's listening: easy ones for three-year-olds, knock-knocks, a whole section on T. rex arms, riddles, dad jokes, and a set that sneaks a true fact in after the punchline.

They're all family-friendly. Read one out, wait for the groan, then read another.

The ten best dinosaur jokes, if you only need one

1. What do you call a dinosaur that's fast asleep? A dino-snore.
2. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "p" is silent.
3. What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet.
4. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork.
5. How do you invite a T. rex to lunch? "Tea, Rex?"
6. What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past.
7. Why did the Apatosaurus eat the factory? Because it was a plant-eater.
8. What makes more noise than a dinosaur? Two dinosaurs.
9. Why are old dinosaur bones kept in museums? Because they can't afford new ones.
10. What does a Triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.

Number two works on every child between four and ten, without fail. Number three gets a slow laugh from grown-ups once they remember how the dinosaurs went.

Easy dinosaur jokes for little kids (ages 3–5)

Preschoolers don't need wordplay. They need a funny sound, something silly happening, or a chance to shout. These lean on all three.

• What does a dinosaur say when it wakes up? "ROAR-ning!"
• What did the baby dinosaur say when it hatched? "Egg-scuse me!"
• What do you call a dinosaur with a cold? A dino-sneezer.
• What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way.
• How can you tell there's a dinosaur in the fridge? The door won't shut.
• What do you call a dinosaur that snores really loudly? A bronto-snorus.
• Where do dinosaurs go shopping? The dino-store.
• What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
• What's a dinosaur's favorite game? Swallow the leader.
• What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? A try-try-try-ceratops.

How to tell a joke to a three-year-old: ask the question, pause for longer than feels natural, then deliver the answer with a big roar or a sneeze. They will ask for the same joke again eleven times. That's how they learn how jokes work. Let them tell it back to you, even if they get the punchline wrong.

Funny dinosaur jokes for kids (ages 5–8)

This is the "what do you call…" age, when the punchline is a made-up word and a joke becomes something you take to school and trade.

• What do you call a T. rex that's been in a car crash? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
• What do you call a dinosaur that's a sore loser? A dino-sore.
• What do you call a group of dinosaurs singing? A tri-choir-atops.
• What's the best way to talk to a T. rex? From very far away.
• What does a velociraptor have that no other dinosaur has? Baby velociraptors.
• Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't been invented yet.
• What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all day? Lazy bones.
• What do you call a dinosaur with a great vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• What do you call a dinosaur that's always on time? A pro-to-ceratops.
• Why did the Stegosaurus get picked first for dodgeball? It had the best backplates.
• What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
• Why did the dinosaur paint its toenails red? So it could hide in the strawberry patch.
• How do you know if a dinosaur is in your bed? There's a "D" on its pajamas.
• What do you call it when a dinosaur scores a goal? A dino-score.
• What do you call a dinosaur that loves bubble baths? A Tub-rex.
• Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything important.
• What's a dinosaur's favorite snack? Macaroni and trees.
• Why did the Brachiosaurus have such a long neck? Because its feet smelled.
• What do you call a dinosaur that works at a library? A book-a-saurus.
• What's a dinosaur's favorite day of the week? Chews-day.
• Why did the Ankylosaurus join the band? It already had the drumstick.
• What do you call a dinosaur that's scared of everything? A nervous rex.
• What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus.
• Why did the dinosaur sit on the clock? It wanted to be on time.

Joke number six is the best one on this list for a curious kid, because it starts a real conversation: birds are living dinosaurs, and chickens came along long after the big ones were gone.

Knock-knock dinosaur jokes

These are built to be told back to you, so let the kid do the knocking.

• Knock, knock. Who's there? Dinah. Dinah who? Dinah-sore, and I want my dinner!
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Rex. Rex who? Rex-cuse me, could you ring the doorbell? I can't reach it.
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Tara. Tara who? Tara-dactyl! Open up before I fly off!
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana be a dinosaur when I grow up.
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Stego. Stego who? Stego-ing to keep knocking until you let me in.
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Dino. Dino who? Dino what you're doing, but can I join?
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Raptor. Raptor who? Raptor present yet? It's your birthday!
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting dinosaur. Interrupting dino— ROAR!

The interrupting dinosaur is the strongest of the lot for any age. The trick is to roar before they've finished saying "who".

T. rex jokes: the tiny arms section

The T. rex's arms are the most-mocked body part in all of natural history. In fairness, each one was about three feet long and very strong for its size. One well-known study estimated each arm could curl around 400 pounds. They just look tiny next to a five-foot skull.

• Why doesn't a T. rex make its bed? It can't reach the far corner.
• What's a T. rex's least favorite exercise? Push-ups.
• How does a T. rex high-five? Very carefully, and only with another T. rex.
• Why are T. rexes bad at hugs? Short reach, big teeth, lots of apologising.
• What does a T. rex do at a concert? Nods along with real enthusiasm.
• Why did the T. rex never learn to clap? Too many dinosaurs laughed at his first try.
• Why can't a T. rex put up the Christmas star? It can't reach the top of the tree.
• What does a T. rex say at the top of the stairs? "Could somebody get the light switch?"
• Why do T. rexes make terrible drummers? They can reach the drum, but not the cymbal.
• What did the T. rex say when it dropped its sandwich? "Well, that's gone."
• How does a T. rex tie its shoes? It asks the Brachiosaurus.

The Christmas-tree one is printed on our Christmas Arms Rex tee, which is a T. rex looking up at a star it will never reach. It's an easy pick for the kid (or adult) who has told this joke every December since they could talk.

Dinosaur riddles: "What am I?"

Riddles turn the joke around: the kid gets the clues and has to guess. They're great for car rides and for the five minutes before cake at a party. Read the clues one at a time and stop as soon as someone gets it.

Older kids can write their own. They pick a dinosaur, look up three facts, and turn them into clues. It's a sneaky piece of homework that doesn't feel like homework.

Dinosaur jokes that teach a real fact

Each of these has a punchline and then a true bit. This is the section for the kid who already knows more about dinosaurs than you do.

Why did the T. rex and the Stegosaurus never go on a date? They missed each other by about 80 million years. The true bit: Stegosaurus lived about 150 million years ago and T. rex about 68 to 66 million years ago. That means T. rex lived closer in time to us than to Stegosaurus.

What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet. The true bit: it was actually an asteroid, not a comet. It hit near what's now Mexico's Yucatán Peninsula about 66 million years ago, and most dinosaurs went extinct.

Why did the pterodactyl get thrown out of the dinosaur club? It wasn't a dinosaur. The true bit: pterosaurs were flying reptiles and close cousins of dinosaurs, but a separate group.

How many dinosaurs visit your bird feeder? All of them. The true bit: birds evolved from small, feathered dinosaurs, so scientists count them as dinosaurs.

Why did the velociraptor hire an agent? It wanted to look taller on film. The true bit: the real Velociraptor was about turkey-sized and covered in feathers.

Why did the Pachycephalosaurus win every argument? Nothing got through to it. The true bit: its domed skull was up to about ten inches thick.

Why did the Stegosaurus need a study buddy? For a big animal, its brain was very small. The true bit: a Stegosaurus weighed several tons, but its brain was only about the size of a lime.

Which came first, the dinosaur or the egg? The egg. The true bit: all dinosaurs hatched from eggs. Some, like Maiasaura (its name means "good mother lizard"), nested together in big colonies.

Dinosaur dad jokes

For the grown-up who thinks a groan counts as a laugh. It does.

• I'm reading a book about how the dinosaurs went extinct. It's a real page-turner, but the ending is a bit sudden.
• My kids say I tell too many dinosaur jokes. They say I'm Jurassic. I prefer "vintage."
• I asked a paleontologist how work was going. She said she was digging it.
• Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? They stopped paying their meteor bill.
• I tried to collect dinosaur bones, but I couldn't find a single fossil-ity.
• What do you call a dinosaur that tells bad jokes at dinner? A Dadasaurus.
• Why do museums keep T. rex skeletons? Because nobody's brave enough to throw them out.
• I told my son a joke about a Brachiosaurus. It went right over his head.
• What do you call a dinosaur that's always ready for a barbecue? A Grill-a-saurus.
• Why did the dinosaur buy a new phone? Its old one was prehistoric.

If the dad in your house tells all ten of these, the Dadasaurus collection gives him something to wear while he does it.

Dinosaur jokes for school, lunchboxes and parties

A few practical ways these get used:

• Lunchbox notes: fold a joke card with the question on the outside and the answer inside. The knock-knocks are best, because the kid gets to "tell" it to a friend at lunch.
• Joke of the day: teachers doing a dinosaur unit can run one riddle each morning from the table above. It doubles as a fact for the day.
• Party icebreaker: at a dinosaur birthday, have each guest pull a joke from a hat and read it out before cake. Our dinosaur birthday party guide has the rest of the plan.
• A quiet table: pair a stack of joke cards with a few dinosaur coloring pages for the kids who'd rather not perform. The printables are digital downloads, so you print them at home as many times as you need.

For a party outfit that keeps the joke going, the kids' dinosaur apparel collection is where to start. For grown-ups, there's a small set of funny dinosaur shirts.

Dinosaur jokes FAQ

What is the funniest dinosaur joke for kids? "Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent." For kids under five, the interrupting dinosaur knock-knock gets the bigger laugh, because they get to roar.

What's a good dinosaur joke for a three-year-old? Keep it to a sound or a silly picture. "What do you call a dinosaur that's fast asleep? A dino-snore!" works, especially with a loud fake snore.

What's a good T. rex joke? "Why can't a T. rex put up the Christmas star? It can't reach the top of the tree." Nearly every T. rex joke is about the arms, and this one works for adults too.

What's the difference between a dinosaur joke and a dinosaur pun? A joke has a setup and a punchline. A pun is just wordplay, like dino-mite or Tea-Rex. If you want the wordplay for cards and captions, our dinosaur puns page has over a hundred, sorted by where you'll use them.

Are pterodactyl jokes dinosaur jokes? Close enough for a lunchbox. Strictly speaking, pterodactyls were flying reptiles called pterosaurs, not dinosaurs. That's the punchline of one of the jokes above.

Got a kid who'll be telling these all week? Dress them for it with the kids' dinosaur apparel collection.